The Clouds Gather
by budgie-alison
Summary: The mountain was colder than Kili had thought it would be.


The mountain was colder than Kili had thought it would be. Having a dragon inside surely would have warmed it up, he had thought, but after trekking through the glittering piles of their treasure, he had found that all the dragon did was make the place smell foul.

It was a long journey after Smaug had left the mountain. Kili wasn't sure how long it took for them to find their resting place, but it was too long, wandering in the dark with only a few torches for light.

Kili had never really liked being underground. He and Fili had always been out wandering in the wilds. Thorin had told them countless times that he was the same when he was young, but Kili could not imagine it. His uncle and the others of the company were more at home than Kili was sure he would ever feel.

Fili had looked around at the towering stone walls with the same fear and awe as Kili did, and so they walked beside each other, muttering of home and open skies, just quiet enough for the others not to hear.

They soon discovered that Smaug had broken all entrances to the mountain except the Front Gate. Thorin took one look at the great doors and said they needed to barricade them.

Kili had cringed. How could they fortify something so high, when they were so little? Against a dragon, would anything work?

But he had not said anything, and now Dwalin presents Fili with a huge hammer that looks far too large to be of any practical use. Perhaps the old dwarves used it in the mines. Fili takes it and weighs it in his hands easily.

Dwalin moves on to Kili and gives him a smaller hammer. It's heavier than expected and the younger dwarf almost drops the tool when it's given to him.

Dwalin doesn't say anything, but Kili sees Thorin look at him and Kili's cheeks burn. He's not as strong as his brother, he knows that. The others are used to axes and Kili uses a bow. He is young, but he is weak.

'Kili,' Fili says, turning to him. 'Come on, we'll take this side. We probably don't need your hammer. If you hold the wood then we can get it done faster.'

It will probably take a little longer, but Kili smiles gratefully at his brother and fetches some wood they had salvaged from other parts of the Mountain. The wood is heavy, but he manages. As he carries it over to where his brother is inspecting the door, Kili is suddenly reminded of home. He and Fili were usually in charge of lighting the fire. Fili had the tinderbox because he was older; Kili would get the sticks.

They use huge wooden beams that Fili has to help him with as well as great stone blocks that take at least six dwarves to move. When everything is in place, Thorin tells Kili and Fili to tend the ponies. They are of no more use to the dwarves, so the two brothers unload the ponies' packs and prepare to send the animals on their way.

'Fili,' Kili says as he opens the Gate to let out the ponies. He feels like he's going to vomit.

Fili comes up behind him trailing two of the ponies. 'What is it?' he says, his eyebrows coming together as he sees the look on Kili's face. As he gets closer, he too looks out of the Gate. 'Thorin!'

Fili gives Kili the reins of the ponies he's holding and sprints off to get his uncle.

'They have come,' Balin says, looking out at the army of men and elves on the Mountain's doorstep. He and Thorin begin their conversation, but Kili cannot listen to it. He can only hear the blood pounding through his ears. He has never seen a proper army before.

They let the ponies go without a word and then Kili has to go sit down. No one pays any notice to him, most go into the treasure hold. Ever since stumbling across the gold, the other dwarves had talked of little else. They were all changed for it, but Thorin especially. He talks of the Arkenstone constantly, although he has not found it. Kili begins to wonder if it's even there. Maybe it was stuck to the dragon's belly.

He begins to shiver, perhaps not from cold, and so lights a fire. He finds a tinderbox and soon flames are in front of him.

'There you are,' Fili says as he sits down heavily beside the fire. 'Where did you go?'

'I've been here this whole time,' Kili says. 'You were in the treasure room, weren't you?'

Kili has seen the glint in his brother's eyes. It's not as strong as it is in the others, but Fili lusts for the gold.

'I was helping Thorin. It's like he's going mad, he thinks of nothing but the Arkenstone.'

'I know,' Kili says, wondering if his brother was helping Thorin at all.

'Why do you look at me in this way?' Fili puts a hand on Kili's shoulder.

'In what way?' Kili shrugs him off. 'I don't know what you mean.'

Fili frowns at him for a few moments but says nothing. 'Fine. But when you're ready to tell me, let me know.'

Kili picks up the nearest stick and pokes the fire. 'You should get some rest. I'm sure traversing the great piles of our treasure is hard work.'

'So that's what it's about, is it? I'm just trying to help Uncle.'

'What do you see in the gold, brother? I don't understand. It's made you different. You don't smile anymore unless it's to do with that.'

'Kili, if you hadn't noticed, we're trapped in a mountain with nobody but ourselves to defend it. Anyone could be coming when they hear the dragon has been slain. There is precious little to smile about.'

Kili doesn't respond, but stokes the fire again. A burning stick falls off the pile and lands near Fili's boot. He steps on it and the flames go out.

'So, what would have me do? Sit here in silence like you while the rest of our company helps? Thorin needs the Arkenstone, Kili, you know it. Do want him to find it?'

'I have never said that, Fili, why would you think it true?' Kili scoffs. 'I just don't understand the want of all these riches. What does it matter?'

'Our ancestors mined it, it's our heritage. It's what we have left of them.'

'But then why would we spend it?'

'We can't keep everything.'

'What, otherwise dragons appear?' Kili stands up. He looks at his brother and Fili's face is made of shadows. 'It is foolish.'

'Then why did you come on this quest? You sound like an-' Fili draws in a breath and turns his face away.

'I sound like a what, Fili?' Kili steps closer to him.

'Nothing. I wasn't going to say anything.'

'The elves covet gold too, brother. They are not as honest about it as the dwarves, but you know how Thranduil feels. He would have this mountain if he could. Perhaps even now he is down there with the men. The dragon is gone, so why not take its prize? What is there stopping him? Thirteen dwarves and a burglar. That is not much. Thorin wants to fight to protect his precious gems.' Kili throws the stick away and it clatters on the stone floor.

'He wants to fight to protect his Mountain.'

'His mountain of gold, perhaps.'

'Kili,' Fili hisses. 'Stop this childish business. This is his home, this is our home. It was taken away and we have it back. Would you abandon us so easily?'

'I never said I would abandon you.' He swears in dwarvish. 'What would make you think these things?'

'You are scared.'

'Of course I'm scared! There's an army out there. What do you think they're going to do, bring us sweetcakes instead of swords?'

Fili looks at him, unblinking. 'So what would you do?'

'I do not know. I will fight alongside you, although I do not wish it.'

Kili sits back down and his brother puts an arm around him. Kili rests his head on his brother's shoulder and Fili leans his cheek against the top of Kili's head.

'It may not come to a battle, little brother.'

'Do you really believe that?'

There's a moment of silence broken only by the crackling of the fire until they see Thorin emerge from the passageway leading into the treasure room, bringing with him a trail of dwarves. Not everyone has emerged, but most do and soon they are all gathered around the fire, except for Bofur and Bombur, who begin to make some food. There is not much they can do with icram/i, but they try. Balin is near the Gate, not watching, but sitting, listening. He smokes a pipe and the smoke rises up in clouds around him.

'Do not tell Thorin of your feelings,' Fili says quietly, sitting up straight.

Kili scoffs at him. 'You must think me mad.'

'I do.'

Kili opens his mouth to protest, but then sees the grin on his brother's face.

'But you've always been so.' Fili nudges him with an elbow. 'Come on, let's get some more firewood.'

'Fili, Kili,' Thorin says as he stokes the fire. 'Bring us some more wood while you're up.'

'We were just-'

Fili interrupts his brother. 'Of course, Uncle.'

As they walk to the storage room, Fili shakes his head. Once they are out of earshot, he looks at his brother. 'Don't let him know, Kili.' He bends and picks up an armful of wood. 'Come on.'

Kili trails after his brother, muttering under his breath. He's not yet ninety; he doesn't want to be in a battle. And against men and elves? Could he even do that, take another's life? With goblins and orcs it was different somehow. Perhaps that was a terrible thing to think but it was how he let himself sleep.

That night, listening to the distant sounds of the camp outside, Kili doesn't sleep. He turns in his bedroll and sees his brother lying next to him, eyes closed.

'Fili,' he whispers.

Fili's eyes open. 'You can't sleep either?'

Kili shakes his head. 'If Thorin lets us, do you want to go down to the camp tomorrow? I cannot stand just sitting here and doing nothing but gather firewood and watch the others gaze at jewels.'

'I do not think we should ask him,' Fili says. 'Thorin will do what he thinks is right. Now that we are here, he is the king. We need to follow his example.'

'Why are you like this?'

'Because we-' Fili swallows the word. 'Because I am his heir, now. To question Thorin would not be wise.'

'Even the wisest rulers need guidance.'

'Do you think we are in any position to offer that?' Fili's voice is angry, now. 'We are almost children, Kili. You especially. Thorin knows what he is doing.'

Kili turns so his back is facing his brother.

'Kili,' Fili whispers. 'Kili, please. I didn't mean it.'

'Get some rest, Fili.'

Fili can get nothing more out of him that night. Kili does not sleep and guesses that his brother does not either. The room is absent of his snores.

In the morning, when Kili has almost decided to go and speak to Thorin on his own, Balin gives a shout.

'Someone's coming!' he says, pointing out of the slim window he's standing in front of. 'Men, and elves. Ten of them.'

Thorin half-runs over to him. 'Are they armed?'

Balin nods. 'Although I do not think they are searching for battle. Look.'

He steps away from the window and Thorin takes his place. He peers through the window and is silent for some time.

Kili can hear the blood running through his head. Fili comes up beside him.

'What do you think they're doing, Fili?'

'Scouting, I think. Unless they have come to talk.'

'You there!' Thorin cries. 'Have you come to speak with us?'

The others wait, but there is no answer from the company of men and elves.

'Have you come to speak with us?' Thorin repeats. There is no answer again, and he says the words a third time.

When he finally steps back from the window, his face is drawn and dark. 'They were inspecting the Gate. They hope to get in without a fight; they must have assumed us dead. And now they know Erebor is defended.'

Kili sees Balin share a glance with Dwalin at these words.

'The door is barricaded. We have done well on that.'

Without another word, he walks out of the room and into the passageway leading to the treasure room. A couple of the dwarves join him, but most stay. Some of them pick up their instruments to play but the music is not joyous.

Bilbo sits by himself, as he has done almost ever since they were inside the mountain. Kili knows he too is unmoved by the gold, though they have not spoken of it. Fishing out some icram/i from his own satchel, Kili takes it over to him.

'Are you hungry, Bilbo?'

Bilbo looks at him for a few moments and for a moment Kili wonders if he's going to answer.

'I think I've had enough ofi cram /ifor the moment, thank you Kili.'

'Fair enough,' Kili says, grinning. 'We have been eating it for days on end, apart from the occasional stew.'

Bilbo laughs mirthlessly. 'Yes, I've had enough of stews for a long time, too.'

'You miss your home,' Kili says, sitting down beside the hobbit.

Bilbo nods.

'I miss mine, too.' Kili lowers his voice as he speaks. This is not something he has even told Fili. 'I don't like this mountain.'

'Then why stay?' Bilbo asks.

Kili shrugs. 'These dwarves are my family.'

Almost as if on cue, Fili walks up to them. 'There you are, brother. I've been looking for you.'

'What do you want?' Kili says, a little too gruffly.

'Can you do my hair?' Fili holds up a comb.

'What? Do it yourself.'

Fili blinks at him.

'You're quite capable. I know you only ask to make me feel better about the fact that I can't do my own.'

'But I don't want to do my own. Come on, Kili. It won't hurt. And what else is there to do?'

Kili groans. 'Why not go search for the Arkenstone?'

'My eyes aren't good enough, it would seem.'

Kili frowns. 'What? Did someone say something?"

'It's nothing, Kili.' He pulls out the fastening in his hair and begins to comb it through. 'Thorin is just angry. He doesn't mean what he says.'

'Our great king has no fault, surely?' Kili says, raising an eyebrow.

'Shh,' Fili says, flapping a hand in Kili's direction. 'Don't say that so loud.'

Bilbo looks between the two dwarves. 'Is the Arkenstone really that important?'

The two brothers nod vigorously. 'It's a symbol of Thorin's right to rule,' Fili says, wincing as he comes across a knot in his hair. 'It was found long ago. I don't think he will feel complete until he has it.'

'It just seems a bit silly, making this much fuss over a jewel.'

Kili silently agrees, but Thorin is family. 'It's not just a jewel. That stone is worth more than all the gold in Erebor. There is no other like it.'

Bilbo puffs on his pipe for a few moments. 'I see. You know, I do not think I will ever understand the dwarves' love of treasure.'

'We're not asking you to,' Kili says. 'You have done your duty.'

Bilbo frowns.

'I'm sorry you're stuck in this mountain,' Fili says. His hair is back up and now he moves to a braid on the side of his head, above his ear.

Bilbo nods once, then continues smoking. Kili is contemplating getting his own pipe out when Gloin calls out, 'The camp is moving!'

Kili and Fili move to the window and see the mass of men and elves, tents disassembled, marching. They're not moving away from the Mountain, though, but simply around it.

'What are they planning?' Kili says. 'Why would they move?'

'For a more easily defensible spot, perhaps,' Fili says, looking at him. 'They were out in the open over there.'

Kili gulps. 'They do mean to fight us, then.'

He look at his brother and sees Fili is afraid and this, more than anything, makes Kili wish they had never come on this quest.

'Get Thorin,' Gloin says to Kili. Kili runs off to the treasure room and stops in the doorway. The treasure room is vast and dark and glittering. Thorin stands off to the right, wandering through the gold.

'Thorin!' Kili calls out to him.

Thorin takes a long look at the treasure around him before turning to his nephew. 'What is it?'

'The army outside, they've moved.'

Thorin scowls. 'Balin! Come to the Gate.' He storms off in the direction Kili came from.

Kili begins walking and a gold coin finds its way under his boot. He stops and picks it up. In the dim light of the cavernous room, the gold glows darkly in his palm. Turning it over in his hand, the coin is cold. He tosses it back onto the pile in front of him and returns to the camp.

In the night, no one is sleeping. All of the dwarves, as well as Bilbo, are all sitting around the fire, warming their hands and trying not to listen to the merriment that is the camp of men and elves singing.

Kili eventually gets up and looks out of a window. He can just see the edge of the camp.

'They're feasting,' he says. Suddenly he is acutely aware of how long it has been since he had a decent meal and a proper drink. In truth, it was not that long ago when the company was at Lake-town and they had plenty of both, but as Kili looks down at the camp, he forgets all about Lake-town and his mind is filled with nothing but icram/i.

Fili soon joins him. He puts a hand on his younger brother's shoulder. 'Maybe if things had been different, we could have welcomed these folk as friends.'

Thorin scowls.

Bofur mutters something to his brother and soon both of them have their instruments out. The others soon follow and begin to sing of the King under the Mountain.

Kili watches his uncle's face throughout the song and it is the first time he has seen him smile like this. This mountain, as odd as it feels to Kili, is his uncle's home. Thorin was born here, his father was born here. This was where Thorin learnt about the world.

Fili nudges him. 'Uncle looks happy for once,' he says, smiling. 'If only Mother could see this.'

'I miss her.'

Sighing, Fili nods. 'As do I.'

'Do you think it will be long until we see her again? Do you think she will want to live in Erebor with Uncle?'

'This was her home, too, Kili.'

'Do you think she is alright, on her own?'

'I am certain our mother is made of steel. There is not much that she cannot weather.'

Kili sighs. 'I just wonder if she is lonely.'

'Not for too long, I should think. Come, let's sing with the others. Who knows when we'll have the chance to again.'

After a few long songs, the talk turns to Dain and Thorin muses how long it will take him to reach the Mountain. Kili had not been so stupid to think that there would be no bloodshed at all over Erebor, but with an army camped on their doorstep and his uncle and the others speaking of old battles they had been in, any hope that he had that there would be no fighting is completely quashed.

He looks at his brother beside him and thinks they are too young to die. Joining Uncle on his quest was supposed to be glorious. He didn't think they would be stuck in the Mountain like rabbits in a hole.

Kili nods his head to the corridor and Fili nods back. They get up from beside the fire and leave. No one really notices except Balin, who Kili determinedly won't make eye contact with. The older dwarf says nothing.

'What is it?' Fili says when they are alone.

'I don't want to be here,' Kili says, and he suddenly realises his hands are shaking. 'Brother, I am scared. There's an army out there and there is but fourteen of us. What chance do we have? We have barricaded the Gate but what good will it do against hundreds of soldiers? Did no one think to bring a bow apart from me? What good will axes and swords do against that?'

'Kili,' his brother says slowly.

There is a moment while Kili waits for more words. He needs more; he needs his brother to make him feel better because that's what he always did when they were at home.

'I don't know what's going to happen.'

And then Kili realises that up until this point in his life, he never actually believed that he or his brother could die. Dying was something other people did, not him. Dying was for old and sick people, not young dwarves who had no beards to speak of.

'Whatever does, we will-' Fili bites back his words. 'We will just have to face it, because we have no other choice.'

'I don't want to die, Fili!' Kili pushes his brother back because he doesn't know what else to do. When Thorin came into their house and asked for their aid on his quest, if Fili hadn't been there, Kili would have run and run and never looked back. He cared not for mountains or dragons or gold.

Fili scowls at him. 'And you think that I do? What would you have us do, run away like mice and hide in some abandoned mine until this is all over?'

'Yes. No. I don't know. Fili, please, can't we just-' Kili throws up his hands. 'Why did Mother let us come on this ridiculous journey?'

'Because we wanted to.'

'We are fools.'

Fili smiles at him. 'Yes.'

They return to the others, but set their bedrolls a little to the side, close to one another so they can speak without disturbing the others.

In the darkness, Kili can just make out Fili's face that is lit by the dying fire. His brother's brow is drawn and his arms are crossed against his chest as he lies on his side facing Kili.

With Thorin's deep voice muttering in the darkness, they could almost be home.

'No need to look so tense, brother,' Kili says. When Fili opens his eyes, Kili smiles at him. 'What's there to worry about?'

'Kili, what are you talking about?' Fili's frown deepens. 'Like you said before, we're stuck in this mountain with no help. This mine will be our tomb.'

'Close your eyes again,' Kili says. 'Trust me.'

Fili complies.

'What do you hear?'

'The fire. The wind outside. Uncle's speaking with someone. Or, rather, he's talking and the someone is pretending to listen.'

'See? We could be back at home.'

Fili opens his eyes. 'Kili.'

'We can pretend, just for now. There's no battle to be had, no gold to be fought over. There's just us and Uncle and Mother.'

'Kili, I-'

'Fili, please. Only for tonight. Then we can face what's out there but I do not know if I am ready.'

'We'll never be ready for that,' Fili says. He puts a hand on Kili's arm. 'But yes.' He closes his eyes and takes his arm off of his brother. 'What do you think he's talking about?'

'What else does he talk about?' Kili laughs.

Nothing more is said that night between the two, and as Kili drifts off to sleep he can feel his bed at home underneath him. He dreams of food, helping his mother in the garden, going to work at the forge, chasing his brother, being read to by Thorin as Dis looks on and smiles.

It is Fili who wakes first, and he in turn wakes his brother. Kili turns over in his bedroll. 'I'll help later, just five more minutes.'

'Kili,' Fili hisses.

Kili bats a hand in his brother's general direction. 'If you bring me my breakfast I may consider moving.'

'This is important, Thorin's speaking with the men outside.'

For a few moments, Kili is confused. Why would there be men outside their home? Was Thorin trying to pick up more work? Times were not that desperate, surely. And then he remembers, they're not safe at home.

Kili sits up. 'What?'

'They want our gold in return for slaying the dragon.'

'Why won't Thorin give them any?'

Fili makes an exasperated noise. 'Do you not know who our uncle is?'

'That is a fair point.'

'He says he won't make a deal with an army at his front door.' Fili waits for a moment to listen. 'Oh,' he groans, 'they have got him onto the subject of elves.'

'Well now, they definitely will see no gold.' Kili rubs his eyes. 'I thought we were at home when you woke me up.'

'There's your problem,' Fili says, and he smiles wide, 'You were always the first to wake up at home. Unless we had lessons or work, of course.'

He digs out some icram/i from one of his bags and hands it to his brother. 'I have a feeling we're going to need our strength today.'

Thorin stomps into the middle of the room and sits on one of the benches in front of the now-out fire. No dwarf seems to want to go near him. Kili is too familiar with the glower on his uncle's face. Dis could make her brother glower for hours if she played her cards right. Not that she would do it out of spite, but sometimes little siblings just had to do these things. Kili knows this well.

'Should we go sit with him?' Kili says. 'Whenever Mama wou-'

'Mama? You have not called her by that name ever since we were children.'

Kili blushes and looks away from his brother. 'Well, I'm going to sit with him.' He gets up and sits beside his uncle. It's when Thorin looks at him that Kili realises he has nothing to say. Kili smiles weakly and Thorin looks away.

'Here,' Fili says, walking over to his family after a couple of minutes of awkward silence. He holds out a whetstone to Kili.

Kili takes it and watches his brother apply oil to his own whetstone.

'When was the last time you sharpened your sword?' Fili asks. 'I'm sure you haven't since we set out on this adventure.' He gives the oil to Kili.

'I - I might have,' Kili says, blushing again when Thorin looks at him. He looks down and concentrates on applying the oil. Maybe if he never looks up Thorin won't say anything about it.

'Don't put on too much,' Thorin says, taking the bottle and using his sleeve to soak up the excess oil. 'I thought I taught you well.'

When Kili looks at him, Thorin is not exactly smiling but he is not frowning, either.

'You did, Uncle. Kili's too busy with his bow to remember anything of use.'

Kili throws the oil bottle back at his brother and scowls as Fili laughs.

'You shouldn't rely on just your bow,' Thorin says. 'What if you were to run out of arrows?'

'I do use my sword,' Kili says.

'Then you need to look after it,' Thorin says.

Kili doesn't say anything, but takes his sword from the pile of weapons Fili brought over. He watches his brother for a moment, then tries to copy his movements.

'A bit slower,' Thorin says. All traces of his previous glower are gone, now, and he pulls out his pipe.

Kili nods and, eventually, manages to mimic the pace Fili is going. Their uncle sits and puffs away at his pipe and soon it is just like they are at home. Thorin keeps a watchful eye on his nephews while Dis is out running errands.

Kili blinks back a few tears. He misses his mother. He sniffs.

Fili looks up at him, an eyebrow raised in question, but Kili shakes his head.

Eventually, Kili moves on with helping his brother sharpen his thousands of knives. 'Do you really need this many?' Kili asks. 'The pile is never ending.'

'You never know,' Fili says.

'It's always good to be prepared,' Thorin says. As he speaks, clouds of smoke tumble from his mouth. Not for the first time, Kili stares at his uncle's beard and wishes he could grow one. The beard isn't very long, but it does hold a sense of authority. He looks at his brother and suppresses a smile. Apart from the moustache, Fili's beard is styled in exactly the same way, even if it's not as long.

'Thorin,' Balin says from the watch point. 'They return.'

Thorin scrambles up to his feet and is beside Balin in an instant. Kili follows at a slower pace, gathering up his bow and a few arrows, just in case.

The man speaking, calling himself Bard, tries once again to bargain with Thorin but Kili knows that his uncle will not concede. Dwarves are known for their stubbornness and Thorin has inherited this trait tenfold.

Kili stands at his uncle's side and feels as though he will faint. There are so many soldiers out there.

And then, without Kili really sure of how it happens, Thorin snatches the bow out of his hands and shoots an arrow at Bard. The arrow glides through the air silently, then hits Bard's shield with a small ithud/i. Bard looks at the arrow, quivering as it lies embedded in his shield, then speaks.

'I declare the Mountain besieged,' Bard says. Kili doesn't hear anything else.

Kili swallows as Thorin gives him back his bow. His uncle nods at him and Kili is frozen. iBesieged./i The word clangs around in his head. There are fourteen of them and they're up against a whole host of men and elves.

He can barely feel his body as he stumbles along, following the others. Fili looks at him with eyes as wide as Kili's own and he takes his brother's hand. The only part of him that feels real is the hand holding Fili's.

'Brother,' Kili says. He is afraid. So afraid.

Fili takes a moment to reply. 'I know.'

The others begin to speak of war and Dain and the best way to try and defend the Gate. The talk seems to go on for hours but Kili has no idea how long they sit there.

Bombur is the only other dwarf who seems to not want this. Kili catches his eye across the room and Bombur looks sadly away from him. Kili looks at his brother and realises they still have not let go of one another.

'This is going to happen, isn't it?' Kili says.

Fili nods.

'Do you think Dain will come?'

'I hope so.' Fili's mouth sets in a hard line.

Kili notices Bilbo in the corner, sitting by himself. The hobbit has been quiet ever since they had set up camp here. 'I don't think Bilbo has any idea what he was getting himself into, either.'

Fili smiles at him, his eyes sad, and they wait together in silence until the morning comes.


End file.
